I sat there at the corner of your mind
Wondering if my existence is real
I tried slipping in your thoughts
Wishing it would make you see

What I have been hiding all this time
Words I wish you would hear
Through the silence of a beating heart
And the cascades of cold violent winds

How hard could it be
We’re blinded by our entropy
Sleeping’s a dragging task to me
Kept my eyes open so maybe I would see

My love is a kaleidoscope
And yours a fire languishing my hope
I keep on walking through tight ropes
Finding the balance of being near and far, which I cannot cope

I rather hear your excuses
Than to know the truth why you chose another
But with reality I am always one step closer
So I tried closing my eyes with lies which is better

Could there be more in this game we call gravity
When all we do is fall apart in the same dealing
Of losing and being lost in scores we’re keeping
I’m dying to get over this continuous leaving

Shut all the doors, keep it high, all these walls
And for the last time, you held my hand in full
In your mind, you took me to the end of a tunnel
Finally, I see the answer to my unending call

Ode to Our Ending

Ode to Our Ending

Your smile is my coffee
Your walk strums the harp strings
Your shadow guides my light
Your voice is the soundtrack of my night

As my soul wanders, I encountered yours
Once in a while we find ourselves lost
In the rhythm of life we played the notes
But we somehow drop the beat to a part unknown

Sorry, thank you, I love you
And many other words I wished you knew
You’ll never know how much my heart screams please
And maybe I’ll never know how much you tried to have that peace

We both listen to our heartbeats, to their breaking
Spitting lies of “I’m fine” and “Don’t worry”
My fingers never fitted yours in the beginning
We always meet with a promise of leaving

I took a shot and missed the point
You are not a question, there’s no yes or no
Though I know we were always meant to end
Still, I needed my heart to mend

Time has come to stop sipping coffee
Close my ears to the sound of harp strings
Bring my flashlight to be my guide
Listen to a real song someday I’ll find

Maybe we were never meant to start
We’re always better when we’re apart
I’ll take it from here as I’ve done my part
I’ll seal my goodbye with a lonely smile

PS: I had second thoughts whether to post this or not. Kaso narinig ko na yung go signal. So here it is. Sorry if it’s so sad. Naalala ko yung sinabi sakin ng friend ko. “Kapag malungkot ka, doon ka mas nakaka-isip ng tula o kanta. Para bang lahat ng love song sinulat para sayo.” Siguro nga mas madaling magsulat pag malungkot.

A Moment of Silence

Every other day, twice a week, once a week, once every two weeks, hanggang sa kung kailan na lang maisipan. Ganyan ang naging schedule ko simula nang naisipan kong magpost ng tula sa WordPress. Tagpuan Site, tagpuan ng mga salitang nais kong iparating sa madla at ng mga mambabasang may oras at atensyon na mailalaan para sa mga kagaya nito. Ninais ko naman talagang magbahagi ng nilalaman ng aking puso sa mga salitang nagtutugma pero umabot din ako sa puntong hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba akong magpatuloy.

A moment of silence.

I went through one of my most difficult seasons in life. I was so desperate to end this melancholy that I decided to throw myself to anyone available to catch a broken person like me, not knowing that, this will break me more than I already am. Umabot din ako sa puntong nawalan na ko ng kapasidad makaramdam ng sakit. Wala na kong nahanap na salita para maipaliwanag kung nasaan ako ngayon.

Continue reading “A Moment of Silence”